to finally get into shape. i say last attempt because this is going to happen whether i like it or not. im doing a gluten free diet, as well as cutting all sugar and salt out of my diet. plan is to work out 6 days a week and drink tons of water, include lots of veggies and fruit and nuts. i want my old body back and theres no way i am going to give up this time. i workout 5 days a week but no results so my diet has to change or the results i want wont happen. im going to do a mixture of P90X and 1 hour runs with the bike for 6 days a week. i am fasting for the next 3 days because the food ive eaten lately doesnt agree with my body and i wanna flush everything out! goal is 105! i got two weeks till a big trip to Lake Powell and im gonna look good in my new bathing suit! lets do this! 

DAY 1!

something new starting tomorrow. So ive always have had stomach problems my whole life. but im going to fast for 2 days and start a vegan diet. i want to see if im having problems with fatty foods that causes my stomach to hurt all the time. its an experiment im going to do for a month with some cheat days to see the different reactions my stomach has. its going to be tough, but i think it will help narrow down what i should be eating and what makes me feel good food wise, and it will help me loose those extra lbs lol. good night

of him not respecting me. And honestly would it hurt you to give me some respect?? u dont treat me like ur girlfriend, u treat me like one of the “guys” and when you finally see that there is something wrong with me then thats when u try to be all lovey dovey and yeah hes gonna get the cold shoulder. im fed up with this crap. grow up or find another person to be with cuz im over this. give me some respect that i deserve. yesterday we went to a wedding and all that i could think of was i never want to get married to my boyfriend because the way the married couple looked at eachother everyday and how emotional the man was and happy and respectful to his new wife is definitely not how my boyfriend treats me anymore. idk what to do. i dont care if he leaves to go to school like just go because maybe you’ll grow up there. i really dont feel any love connection to him anymore. i am so jealous with ppl with good respectful loving husbands who adore their wives. i use to be adored, but then he tells me hes just too comfortable in the relationship and he was pretending to be lovey dovey. if i take me out of the equation i wonder what will happen to him. will he be sad? angry? crushed? fight for me like he said he would if we ever broke up? i just really want him to grow up. every weekend he goes off to do something without me and like a stupid little kid comes to me to ask permission like wtf??? go do whatever u want i dont care. but the fact that you just came up to me like that was because u know i want to spend time with you and you dont want to spend time with me and you know that really hurts me. i dont feel like you love me anymore. you say it. but i mean it. i have fallen out of love with him and idk if it will get to where it was unless he shows me he wants me. ive just had enough.